This turned out so much better than I thought it would. I was making ribs for dinner and the only thing I could think of to go with it was rice. I didn’t want real rice, so I decided to make dirty rice. River asked me why we were having stinky rice, and I told her because it was delicious. She ate it all.
To make this magnificent meal, you will need:
- half of a lemon
- 2 yellow onions
- 1 head of cauliflower
- olive or coconut oil
- raw beef fat, or any any fat you like
- half a jar of green olives, chopped
- 1 TBLS chili powder
- 3 green onions
- 4-5 TBLS salsa (I like the HERDEZ brand because it’s got the fewest ingredients, but you can use your favourite salsa.)
Put the ribs, lemon, 1 quartered yellow onion, salt, and pepper in a big soup pot, cover with water, and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down and keep it simmering for a couple of hours on low-medium heat. I put it in at 3:30pm, and cooked it until 5:30pm. The lemon will help tenderize the meat so it will be falling off the bones.
You will need about 45 minutes to get the dirty ‘rice’ ready, so prepare accordingly. Chop the cauliflower very small, or better yet, do what I did and use your food processor to shred it into rice-sized pieces. Chop the other onion and the mushrooms up into very small pieces and saute in a large skillet. I used my cast iron, and I had just enough room. You could probably also use a medium sauce pan as well. Either way, saute in the olive or coconut oil until the onions are almost caramelized.
When they are almost caramelized, add the cauliflower. DO NOT ADD SALT, yet. It will draw the moisture out of the cauliflower and then it will get mucky. You want to make sure that the cauliflower browns and has a chance to caramelize a bit. Stir once in a while for 10 minutes. Add 1-2 TBLS of fat of your choice. I used raw beef fat that I have in the freezer for tallow.
Add the chili powder and stir it in until the ‘rice’ looks dirty. Let it cook for a few minutes to take on the flavour. Add the garlic, olives, and green onions. Stir well. Preheat the oven broiler.
Take the ribs out of the soup pot and place them on a cooky sheet. I put some store bought BBQ sauce on my family’s ribs, but I left mine without any. You could probably make your own sauce, even a paleo version, but I didn’t have the time or the inclination. Put them in the oven for 5-10 minutes, until the BBQ sauce is bubbling and starting to blacken. (Don’t burn it! You want it to just start crackling before you take them out.)
The last two ingredients that you’ll add to the dirty ‘rice’ should be the 4 TBLS salsa and the spinach. If you add the salsa too soon, before the cauliflower browns up, it will just get mushy. Normally, I would just throw the whole jar of salsa in, but again, you don’t want too much moisture or it will wreck the cauliflower. Stir it in well with the spinach. When the spinach is wilted, but not too soggy, the dirty ‘rice’ is ready.
This was so delicious, especially since it was cauliflower, which I detest. Serve alongside the ribs and this is the meal of champions! This meal is a little time consuming, but so worth it. For busy people, it would probably be best to make this on the weekend. Also, for the record, that looks like a lot of ribs, but there was more fat on that piece than meat. It was still marvelous, though. Perhaps the only thing that could have made these better would have been if I used the BBQ. Alas, we are out of fuel. Woe is me.