My husband told me tonight that I’m an elitist. I (half) joked that my snack was better than his snack. I had home made liver paté smeared on cucumbers with raw goat milk cheese. It was accompanied by garlic stuffed olives and a delicious 2008 cab-merlot and some wonderful company. My best friend Maddy. He had BBQ lays chips. An entire bag.
I was really insulted, and I think maybe it’s because it’s a little bit true.
I have a really hard time doing anything halfway. Go big or go home, I’m either in or I’m out. When I was a vegetarian (gasp!) I used to scorn the consumption of meat. I talked myself into how positively disgusting meat smelled. However, I was always tempted by it, and when I gave in to temptation, it always tasted as delicious as I remembered it being.
I guess the same is true about paleo. I crave ice cream. I enjoy chips. I miss the convenience of fast food. But I don’t eat these things (especially for the next 30 days while I do this thyroid meal plan) and it’s hard for me to forgo something without delineating exactly why it’s not good for me, and you.
I can’t imagine how hard it must be to live with someone who nags you constantly about what you eat, which is why I won’t do that to my husband. He’s made his choice, and that’s fine. However, I think he feels more guilty about it than I am angry because he told me I was on his case all day about everything he ate. Which is funny, since he slept in until noon and I got him a sandwich from the deli for his lunch. When he said he wanted a calzone for dinner, I told him to feel free and get himself one. I happily made Maddy and I some deviled eggs, which were delicious and quite filling. I never said a word to him about his choices.
I know that he knows that he’s not eating healthy. I know that right now he doesn’t want to worry about the food he’s eating because he thinks it makes him happy. I know this has nothing to do with paleo, but with him being in control (even though his eating is out of control). I have faith that at some point (hopefully soon, but I’m willing to wait) he’ll realize that he’s not doing himself any favours by gorging himself and eventually he’ll come around. He even told me that he can’t un-know what he’s learned about eating healthy. Right now he just wants to eat what makes him happy, which unfortunately is junk.
Anyway, I’m trying to be there for him, and I think that’s all I can do at this point. It just sucks that he’s telling me that I’m on his case about his eating when I’m not. In fact, I’m more worried than anything. He’s gaining weight and doesn’t seem to notice or care how much his eating is affecting him. Like I said, I have hope that at some point he’ll hit his rock bottom and realize that this gorging has to stop. I love him and I’m worried about him. I’m also worried about the message this is sending to the kids. I don’t want to be so strict with them that food becomes an issue; I don’t want Martin to eat whatever he wants whenever he wants because I don’t want food to be an issue.
All that being said, I made the kids a lovely paleo dinner tonight. I cooked them organic hot dogs in a coconut oil, sliced with an egg over-easy on top. Rowan calls these eggs he can pop. He loves to pop the yokes, and he’s only recently decided he likes eggs, so I’m over the moon about that. He’s a super picky eater. I also served it with half an avocado. Rowan usually just picks at his dinner, and it freaks me out because unless I force feed him, some nights he won’t eat at all. So many issues revolving around food in this house!
The one thing I have to keep in mind though, is that I’m doing this for my health. I believe in this the way to a healthier life. I don’t want to be that mom that can’t play at the park because she’s too old/tired/sore etc. I want to be active and fit and healthy. I want to eat real food and cook up a delicious storm in my kitchen! I want to feed my kids well and have them make healthy choices when it comes to what they put in their bodies!
I asked River (who will be 5 on Monday) if I could make her a cake for her birthday. She was very enthused by the idea. I made her a gluten free lemon cake with maple cream cheese frosting and blueberry syrop in the middle. I made it refined-sugar free, with raw honey and maple syrop. Everything was sourced as locally/organically as I could. Yes there is sugar in it. Yes this is for her birthday and is considered a treat. I don’t mind though! I don’t mind her enjoying a delicious, gluten free cake for her birthday! I wouldn’t say it’s healthy, but I would say it’s a hell of a lot healthier than anything you could buy at the store.
This is a long, slow process, but I know eventually they’ll come around. I have my convictions of good health and I just have to lead by example. It’s tough though. It’s really tough when every meal I make the kids groan, “is this another paleo meal?” Or my favourite, “I don’t like that.” That seems to be Willow’s reflexive answer to anything I talk about making for dinner. Anyway, I had the kids look through Eat Like a Dinosaur and Practical Paleo for recipes that they would actually enjoy eating. It’s easier to have them on board. Willow’s almost 10, so she’s definitely old enough to be helping me in the kitchen.
Elitist or not, I know paleo is better for you than any other SAD diet out there. Whether it’s primal, paleo, or tweaked in whatever way to fit into your life, real, whole foods is still better than anything from a package. I just wish my husband could see that.